Desean, Krystal, and Krystal’s gay family share with the filmmaker the possibilities of making a name for themselves when they band together at the pier and find people with similar experiences and struggles, those finding their chosen families. They express the complexities and pain of not being able to be their true selves around those they are genetically connected to, but speak hopefully about the joy and happiness of finding those who will accept you for who you are. It becomes clear that the desire for community, unconditional love, and support is what draws people from all over to Christopher Street Pier in New York City. Everything that happens in a traditional household (the ones that many of the participants are leaving) also happens in the homes of their gay and chosen families that they find and create but with love, acceptance and recognitition of many shared experiences. Krystal, her gay father and gay brother are from the LeBeija family, which was founded by Crystal LaBeija, an African American transwoman who has be credited for started the house/family system in ball culture.
Clip 2: Birthing a Love for Somebody
This scene starts off from the heels of Krystal disciplining one of her gay children, Melissa for not contributing more to the household when Kyrtsal realizes Melissa is willing to pay for designer sneakers and pay their phone bill instead of financially assisting Krystal and others in the family. Just like many households, money and responsibility are normal pain points for families to overcome and endure. Like many parents Krystal is often pushed into a hard corner by her kids - to provide for them, to support them, and to make compromises for them. But Kystal continues to love them and they continue to love her through all the moments (tense, mundane, and the special ones). The scene transitions to the bond between Daniella and Krystal. While getting her nails done, Krystal and her gay daughter, Daniella intimately discuss what is means to step into the role of mothering someone and what it feels like when someone steps in the role to mother you. Daniella describes the relationship knowing that even though her birth mother did not want to hold onto her, it was special when Krystal decided to step in and take the title and say, “I am going to hold onto you the best I can.” This relationship took time, sacrifice and trust to build and maintain especially the trauma and vulnerabilities involved with trying to forge relationships with the birth family that did not accept her.
Clip 3: I Am Going To Show You All What I Do For Survival
Desean sits with his friend Aaron at Aaron’s grandmother’s house and shares what he does for survival. He outlines how he steals the things he needs (i.e. rice, bodywash, deodorant etc.) while unloading the bag of confiscated items. Desean discusses this strategy of acquiring the resources he needs as a skill he is forced to use because systems and support are not in place for people like him. To him, at times, life would be easier if he were HIV positive and he confesses to sometimes wanting to be, because at least he would know he had food and housing security. The fact that Desean even considers thinking about how life could/would be easier if he tested positive for HIV in order to get his basic needs met, illuminates the precacity of the lives of queer and trans people of color. Because it can be hard to make ends meet, many queer and trans youth turn to sex work as a form of income and survival but are often unfairly compensated while asked to put themselves in danger and navigate risky situations and encounters. It is revelead how rigid and narrow the systems and structures are in our society that do not allow for resources, safety and basic human needs for those pused to the margins because of the discrimination on the basis of race, gender, and sexuality.
Clip 4: To Be Black and Queer in America: The Oversurveillance
Blaring sirens and police car lights fill several scenes that illustrate how NYPD attempt to irritate, monitor and surveil the pier and Black queer bodies. A form of violence that further pushes the pier kids to the periphery by attempting to displace them even more and control their behavior. This clip is disorienting to watch as the lights and sirens rattle the city and community in a form of violence that can be seen, heard and felt. What can be seen is how mass surveillance, by design, is a form of power that impacts everyone but is most jarring in communities already being violated and experiences violence due to power, race, ethnicity, immigration, gender, and or sexuality - many of which are the elements that leave the youth of Christopher Street under a heavy gaze and on the outskirts of society. It seems hard for them to live joyfully and freely without being under the gaze of the NYPD and/or those in power.
Clip 5: Birth Family and Chosen Family Both Mourn/Casper’s Funeral
In the church, Casper’s birth family mourns his loss. Outside of the church, his chosen family holds a memorial for him while they share memories, light vigil candles and organize around the joy Casper brought them. Casper gave a lot to the youth of Christopher Street - the things and feelings that they were not receiving at home. This clip is provocative in the sense that Casper’s birth family mourns the person he was and potentially the person they wanted him to be. While on the outside of the religious institution, in the place he called home, Casper is mourned by his community as the person he was and remembered for all that he did for queer and trans youth to be accepted for who they wanted to be. The simultaneous mourning and grieving of both of Casper’s families unearths ideas of loss, identity, and community in ways that nuance questions around family and the institution of family and personhood.
Clip 6: Where do we go from loving unconditionally?
Unlike Krystal’s mother and aunt, Krystal’s brothers accept her for who she is. Her brothers, Terrell and Antoine, discuss how they love their sister unconditionally and how they got to this place. They do worry and wonder about the hopes and dreams that they had for their family, the desire to be uncles, and wonder what will/can happen next. This clip is hopeful. Krystal’s mother does not seem to be open to her daughter and will only see Krystal as her “son.” But her brothers are committed to figuring this out with Krystal and what a new vision of their family and sibling relationship can look like. It is an idea and they are processing while being curious and open. From this scene it seems like Krystal’s mom fills her with a lot of pain and frustration but her brother provides some humor, ease and happiness. A positive connection with birth family members for queer and trans youth can be hard to forge and maintain but it does provide mental and emotional stability. Krystal and her brothers are working on it and working through it.
Sources
Authored by:
Maureen Nicol
Maureen Nicol is a Doctoral student at Columbia University studying Early Childhood Education and the Founder and Director of Camp Story - a pop-up arts camp based on the continent of Africa. Her background is in teaching and education. Maureen is committed to working with young children and educators to ensure every child and teacher knows their value, worth and power. Maureen's research and work interests have always always situated children of color but specifically young Black girls. Her ultimate goal is to make schools safer places for young Black girls with the idea of safety being articulated based on the terms and articulations of Black girls. Maureen is also researching and building curriculum for young girls (specifically young girls of color) on how they can be seen themselves as feminists using arts integration. In her free time, Maureen enjoys going on long walks with her dog, baking and maxing out her library card with good reads.
