What did you learn from the film about the causes and effects of domestic violence? Why might people who witness or experience violence as children be vulnerable to acting violently or experiencing violence as adults? How do you think the experience of family violence shaped Bing, Keire, and Zack as they become adults? In addition to cycles of violence, what other ways has childhood trauma showed up later in their lives?

Bing asks, “You see any violence in your household when you were growing up?” How would you answer that question? How common is family violence in your community/communities (and if you don’t know, how could you find out)? What resources exist for people who need help to escape or cope with violence from a parent or partner?

Both Nina and Bing’s mother, Mengyue, acknowledge being physically abused by their partners but staying with them. Mengyue explains, “He had two faces, okay. He can be bad. But most a lot of time he was very sweet with me.” Nina says, “even though I've seen the worst of him, I know that there's a lot of good things about him, too.” What barriers, in addition to love, might have prevented them from leaving the relationship? Did you understand their reasons for staying?

Bing doesn’t know how to process what he learns about Zack hitting Nina. She urges him not to say anything, fearing it will make things worse. How does silence perpetuate the problem? What would you have advised Bing to do? If you were in Bing’s shoes, what would you have wanted to say to Zack?

What was your reaction to Zack’s explanation of his violence towards Nina, “if a [f***ing] woman is acting the fool, and you’ve asked them to stop, you’ve tried to get away from the situation, you have done everything that you can do to avoid the situation peacefully and she’s coming at you wanting to argue and fight like she’s a [f***ing] man, like she’s ready to hurt you -- you can’t beat up women, but some bitches need to get slapped sometimes. Does that make sense?” Does it make sense to you? Have you ever heard similar justifications? Did/do you find them to be convincing? Why or why not?

In what ways is Bing holding his friend accountable? What impact might this have on Zack and Nina’s relationship as co-parents?

Keire remembers being beaten by his father for stealing. He resented it, but never stole again. In your view, does the outcome justify the abuse? How might race or ethnicity factor into choices about discipline? Is abuse a reasonable response to fear that a child’s actions could endanger the family, or that failing to act as a model citizen could put the child in danger?

Keire is surprised when Bing reveals that he is making the film “because I was physically disciplined by my stepfather and it didn’t make sense to me and I saw myself in your own story.” Why do you suppose they hadn’t spoken about their experiences before now? What makes conversations about family violence difficult or scary?